Sunday, November 9, 2008

Best Sports Commercials

I'm definitely going to be missing alot of my old favorites, so I reserve the right to add to this list later on, but off the top of my head, I thought it was about time that we gave some credit to some of the greatest sports commercials of all time. So here we go...

1. Mean Joe Greene Tunnel Jersey Toss: This is the first TV commercial I can remember in my lifetime. Is there anyone between the ages of 30 and 40 who saw this commercial and was not dying to be that kid who tossed Joe the coke and got his jersey back in return? This is by far the best sports commercial ever.

2. Chicks dig the Homerun: The funniest sports commercial, ever, period. There was nothing better than watching Glavine and Maddux take BP. What made it especially great was that you just knew they really did care about their real-life hitting. Two of the greatest competitors (not just pitchers) of our lifetime.

3. I want to be like Mike: Cheesy as hell, but totally identified with a generation of kids who idolized MJ like perhaps no other athlete of our generation.

4. "Nothing but Net": Another great NBA commercial from the MJ era. The "H-O-R-S-E" game with MJ vs. other NBA great. "Out the door, Through the window, Over the building, under the bridge, around the water, into the window, bouncing off the ceiling... nothing but net."

5. "I love this game.": Give the NBA credit for some great commercials! This was a whole series of spots and they were all great. Perhaps not coincidentally, these commercials coincided with the NBA at perhaps its height of popularity.

6. Sportscenter spots: Some were better than others, but the great ones (see, i.e., the Manning Family) were pretty great.

7. Righetti Spaghetti: I know no one else will remember these spots, but I loved them as a kid. I think it was for Ronzoni in 1983 or 84 and it featured Dave Righetti saying "Righettie Spaghetti. Hey, I like that!"

8. Steinbrenner Ads: I'm kinda blanking here, but I remember a Great spot with the Boss and someone he had a major feud with, basically mocking the feud and pretending they were best friends in the commerical. It was later than the billy martin era, but i cant quite remember who it was with. mattingly? showalter? torre? damn, i cant quite place it. i do remember that the spot was very funny.

9. "What if....?": These ads featured fancy video editting and showed MJ missing his famous shot over Ehlo, jeter's "relay to the plate" throw sailing wide, and john taylor dropping the throw from montana. Good stuff.

10. "I'm Going to Disneyworld!": Few remember that this all began with Phil Simms in '86. Few also recall that, at the time, it was quite revolutionary. It was truly the first ever "reality TV" as the QB was literally walking off the field from the actual game as the spot was filmed. Great job by Disney conceiving and even attempting such a (at the time) daring spot.

11. "Those Yankees are alive!": Sure, it sounds silly, but In the pre-ESPN/web gems era, kids basically used commercials as our models for great plays and highlights of our favorite plays. On my way to little league games I remember dreaming of making a play like I saw on the channel 11/yankees are alive commericials. Remember Dave Winfield nailing a guy at the Plate? Reggie of all poeople making a diving catch? Great stuff in it's day.

12. "Bring it home." This was perhaps the last time that tv stations actually invested in commericals. WWOR actually had an agency write and compose a theme song for the 86 mets and it was pretty great. it was used with various highlighhts of that great mets team and began an eram, which actually still exists, of yearly mets slogans, all of which sucked except for that original one which was great. "Bring it home Mets, bring it home, bring it home."

I'm definitely missing ALOT, but these are the ones I remember off the top of my head. Feel free to add and help with this list...

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Al is a Word

Played Scrabble today and lost a challenge on the word "Al." Apparently, it is in fact a word. Also got to use Xi today, which I always love, when I can stick the X on a triple letter score.

Crazy Sox/Rays game going on, 8-7 Rays in the 7th with 7 HR already. Not that I care much for baseball once my mets are routinely eliminated every freaking year. What's that? We haven't gotten to the Mets on here yet? Oh, we will. We will.

Miss ya,

Jeff

Friday, October 10, 2008

Dow(n) to $8,451

Where/when does this crisis end? We've easily cleared 1987's carnage and yet the freefall continues. Rememeber, 1987 was only topped by the Great Depression, and so this has got to worry you. Even if you've not a penny in the stock market.

Oil prices are plummeting, too, though, with the price hovering now at around $80/barrel. In case you're among the few who buy by the gallon and not the barrel, that means it should be costing you about $3.50 now. An obnoxious price by 2006 standards, but a "bargain" by today's. Experts predict that it will keep spiraling downward with the economy...one expert predicted that it would fall to $40/barrel. Wow, what a deal.

And it begs the question. How is it that in tough times Oil comes down but Milk doesn't. People need both...why suddenly is Oil able to severely lower prices but not Dairy Farmers or Orange Juice producers or Electronics dealers. The answer is almost too obvious, but it's about time we started outwardly acknowledging it-- The Oil Industry-- OPEC and the Middle East, Russia and others-- have been artificially inflating oil prices for years now. Producing electronics, eggs and milk costs real money. So those producers can only lower prices so much until they are taking a loss. Not so for our enemies in the middle east whom we continue to support by allowing them to gauge us. Are oil costs suddenly lower than $80 a barrel? You mean they weren't last week?
Fact is, Oil costs our Arabic and Russian friends about $2/barrel. And I'm not even sure how much of that goes towards the barrel itself. Fact is, we're allowing our enemies to gauge us, to build up their economies --and in many cases, yes, terrorist factions-- by continuing to pay whatever price they demand. Fact is, our economy is collapsing and the ever merciful OPEC lowers prices somewhat. To an only slightly offensive amount. To make sure we keep buying. So we lose our focus on how abhorrent, how vile, how treacherous our association with oil is.

I bought a Hybrid car 3 weeks ago and regret only that fully-electric was not an option. Our enemies tore down our towers and will relent not at all in tearing down our economy when we are at our most vulnerable. The key is to make ourselves less vulnerable. No, not less...completely. And that means complete independence from foreign oil.

Silicon valley has invented an electric car... and so has chevy (the "Volt"). Others are finally working on it too, and it's about freaking time. These vehicles won't be publicly available for another couple of years, and the day can't come soon enough. Desperate times call for the most desperate of measures.

"Desperate measures?" I know-- it sounds melodramatic. Only, it's not. Israel has committed to converting its entire nation to electric only transportation within the next few years. Electric only. And, in reality, everything Israel always does is out of desperation and self-preservation. Finally, we're following their lead on something instead of the other way around.

Yala. Get those vehicles on the market. Achshav.

More to come...

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Why Fasts Seem So Slow

Because you're not eating, genius.

In other news, the Dow is now down to $8,579. Wow. No worries, Obama's tax increases will fix everything. Gd help us.

I'm gonna go do the unthinkable right now and take a peek at my 401(k).

More to come...

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

McCain/Obama

Oddsmakers --yes, there are odds published on even elections-- had Obama a 3 to 1 favorite going into tonight's debate. That's not a slight edge or advantage, that's a landslide. So the question is will anything change in tomorrow's polls.

The answer, sadly, is no. America, unbelievably, is absolutely going to elect a liberal extremist as our next President. Not just an extremist, but an extremist among extremists. Obama absolutely looks more Presidential than McCain. He's younger, more dynamic, BS's better, ala Clinton, and also wants to sit down with Iran and talk. Wants to raise taxes in the worst of all possible times to raise taxes. Avoids questions about whether the U.S. would defend Israel if attacked by Iran. Wow. The answer, Senator Obama, is yes. Yes, you would defend Israel if they were attacked. Yes. Yes. Yes. The answer is Yes. Obama couldn't run far enough from that question. Scary.

And McCain is no conservative. No cookie-cutter republican. He's a moderate. Yet next to Obama, he actually looks conservative. And older. Less vibrant. Less TV-electable. What a shame that we have become so appearance-focused. Obama's like the beautiful girl who always smiled and knows she's beautiful. She is so physiclaly appealing that you just can't help but pursue her. Then, when it's too late, the smiles fade and you get to know her. And you realize how stupid and shallow you were.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Can G-d Be Sued?

In my lecture today one of my business law students miss-heard me and thought I asked "can you sue G-d?" While not what I had asked, I challenged the student to answer whether you could sue G-d. The student chuckled until I let her know that G-d actually has been sued. In real courts. On at least several occasions. The class seemed rather surprised (and quite amused) to learn that not only has G-d been sued, but that in one case, G-d actually responded.

A plaintiff in Lincoln, Nebraska filed a lawsuit against G-d claiming, among other things, that G-d has caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."

The following week, "two court filings from 'God' came," according to John Friend, clerk of the Douglas County District Court in Omaha. The answer "miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here—poof!" Friend said.

It took me a minute or two to convince the students that this actually happened. Then, having taught personal jurisdiction to my students earlier this semester, I asked whether they felt that a Nebraska court would properly have jurisdiction over G-d. Was G-d a resident of Nebraska? Some claimed G-d would most certainly not be a resident of Nebraska. This would be utterly ridiculous, the argument went. G-d would much more likely reside in an upscale neighborhood like Chelsea, The Upper East Side or Beverly Hills. One student disagreed, arguing that while G-d might vacation in these places, most of his free time would probably be spent in Israel. Another student thought he would definitely live somewhere in the Bible Belt.

A second set of students felt that G-d must be a resident of everywhere-- having created everywhere, and all. This, said the student, certainly would include Nebraska, and therefore G-d could easily be sued in Nebraska.

One student believed that it didn't matter where G-d resided. "Any wrongful acts commited by G-d were set into motion before there were any laws prohibitting those acts, " said the student. A senior citizen in the class added that "the statute of limitations has run" on anything G-d set into motion thousands of years ago and that in any event, G-d was never properly made aware of the laws prior to designing any unlawful Earth-Blueprint that allowed for murder, arson, and terrorism.

A female student towards the back of the room paused, looked a bit puzzled, and said, "Yeh. I mean no one prosecuted Adam and Eve for flashing each other. Euw."


Sunday, October 5, 2008

Eli is a Good QB and Other Sunday Thoughts

I can't believe I am saying this. I can't believe it is actually true. I can't believe last season was not a fluke. I can't believe that suddenly things just clicked for this guy last year. I can't believe, most of all, just how wrong I was. I'm usually dead on with Giants issues. But the fact is, I was wrong. Very wrong. And the time has come to admit this and say:

Eli Manning is a very good QB. In today's 44-6 utter thrashing of the Seahawks, Eli continued his consistent play which first began in the last regular season game of last season vs. the Patriots. The Giants lost that game, which I attended with FJP, but not another one all season. And so far they are 4-0 this season. I've always liked Eli-- he's tough and seems like a down to earth stand-up guy. I just never thought he was any good and I've even been comparing his Super Bowl title to Trent Dilfer's and Mark Rypien's. But I was quite wrong. Eli has developed into a very nice QB and the Giants are looking pretty damn good too. But the PSLs... oh, I'll get to that soon enough.

Improv was fun. I give the Comedy troupe at the National Comedy Theater (performing on 36th between 8th & 9th every Fri and Sat nights) a 2 and 1/2 out of a 4 possible quacks.

FJP? Quacks? Huh? OK, quick explanation. Since I don't want to impose on the privacy of my friends and others in my life, I will refer to non-"public" people with 3 letters in the following way:

1. The first Letter will represent what relationship I have with the person. For example: F= Friend; D=Date or a few dates with the person; GF= Girlfriend or someone I have otherwise dated more than a few times; C=Collegaue, etc... I will not define all the categories on here. If you're really curious, you may sometimes have to work to figure it out. It's not a game. It's just that sometimes I don't want you to know what my category definition means. As I said in my first blog, this is for me, not you. You're lucky I even let you read. Be thankful and not so nosy. Bitch.

2. The 2nd letters will simply be the person's first and last initials. So when I said FJP, I was referring to my Friend, Jessica Pankovitz. Yes, I just made up that name. And, no, you'll never know when I'm making up initials on my blog. I have some friends that are just more private than others, like GF-ML so sometimes I don't even use their real initials! Is my ML example here even real? Who knows. Well, I do, obviously, but I'm not telling you.

As for the 2.5 quacks. I review everything. And I mean everything, in my life. Shows, food, movies, events, days, etc. I generally review things on a 4 star (which I call "quacks" since all my fantasy teams are "The Ducks") basis. 2.5 is actually pretty damn good, as I rarely give things 3 or 4 quacks.

In fact, I'll start reviewing things at the end of all my blogs from now on, including the day, if the posting happens to be at the end or toward the end of the day.

Reviews
National Comedy Theater Improve Group: 2.5 Quacks
My Day (10/5/08): 2.5 Quacks (grade lowered due to annoying 5-hour web seminar I need to take).

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Improv

I'm about to go to an improv show with a friend tonight. Improv always sounds cool and fun and then you get there and when it's over you think to yourself that you'll probably never go back. We'll see how it goes tonight. I've always wanted to try improv myself. Maybe one day I will.

So far I've only told 3 people about this blog. I'll increase that over time and as I begin to post on more substantive topics like the election, sports, and low carb treats. One person I told liked the first blog but said I'd get tired of doing it pretty soon. He's wrong. I'm already tired of doing it. In fact, I'm annoyed right now. I should be getting dressed to go to improv. But instead I'm typing. I should stop typing instead of typing about not typing. I'll do that in a second.

Blogging sucks. Who am I even talking to right now? But, I'm gonna force myself. It'll be good for me. Good for my soul.

More to come....

Friday, October 3, 2008

The First Blog

I remember first hearing the word "blogging" a number of years ago and having absolutely no clue what it meant. Then, when I found out, I thought it was stupid. Why would anyone want to read daily thoughts from someone else? Minutia from someone else's life. That's not news. Not interesting.

Recently, I've started reading many blogs, without even really realizing they were blogs. But I finally came to realize just how useful a blog really is. It's not useful. At all. Unless you want to keep an online diary of your thoughts on a day to day basis. Or unless you happen to know and like the person who is blogging. It's especially interesting if you know and respect the person but still disagree with them enough to trigger debate fodder. So here is my blog. I'm keeping it for myself, because I don't care about you. I don't even know you. So, screw you. This is the one thing I'm doing just for me. If for some reason you still want to read and contribute, feel free to do so. In all likelihood, I'm way funnier and far more intelligent than you are, so you may not get alot of what I write, but that's ok. Try to appreciate what you are able to process. If there's anything you don't get or find confusing feel free to contact me so I can make fun of you. Oh, and sometimes I may distribute free Broadway/Concert/Sports tickets on here. Seriously. I often get freebies to goodies I can't use.

More to come...